I didn’t go for the education, I went for the Integration. I’m 3 years into my photography journey and my intuitive body no longer allows me to self-abandon. Maybe it was the hell I lived through last summer, or maybe it was the thousand small cuts of unaligned compromise before it, but the knowing inside me says “no more”. No more will I shrink in order to be palatable (especially to those determined to misunderstand me), no longer will I cut myself into unfamiliar shapes to suit another’s preference. No longer will I push through when what I really need is rest and slowness. No more will I question my body when the hairs on the back of my neck raise, or I feel that ocean swell of a “no” inside me, and no more will I continue to do this medium in a way that feels like selling my soul for likes or popularity.

The Unraveled Academy Banff retreat was for me, a ceremony of release. I released old narratives about myself, but more importantly I sat in the discomfort of not knowing. I paid attention to how my body responded and I honored the duality I experienced. A situation, a person, an experience – it’s never just one thing. I firmly believe that if something isn’t hard for you, you aren’t growing. The retreat was both beautiful and painful at the same time – a confirmation that I’m on the right path.

I don’t know exactly where I am headed, but I don’t need a roadmap to my own soul. This medium is changing for me, my approach is becoming clearer, and I’m coming home to the artistic vision I had for myself in the beginning. If you know where you are not going, all you have to do is walk the other direction and the right path will appear. I’m so grateful for Unraveled, for their educators, for the women who shared their stories with me, for this opportunity to grow and expand, and for a deeper understanding that may not have revealed itself except through this experience. Something magical happens when women gather, and I can’t wait to gather again.